Let’s get one thing straight: if our grandparents had access to a world full of swipeable strangers, online validation, and enthusiastic consent around that thing that you like, the myth of some golden moral era would collapse faster than a marriage from 1953.
This isn’t the decline of values. It’s the democratization of desire.
We’re not worse. We’re just honest—and a hell of a lot more connected.
The Good Old Days Weren’t That Good
There’s a tendency—especially among older generations and armchair moralists—to paint modern relationships as morally bankrupt. Apps like Tinder, OnlyFans, or even open marriages are often waved around like apocalyptic signs of decay.
But here’s the kicker: infidelity rates were never low, we just didn’t talk about it.
According to a 2017 study by the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of older men and 10% of older women admitted to cheating during their marriages—even without smartphones and late-night DMs. In fact, GSS data shows that infidelity rates for women over 60 have increased—implying that access and openness do change behaviors, but desire has always been there【source: Institute for Family Studies】.
People didn’t behave better back then. They just had fewer options and more shame.
And let’s not forget—marriage wasn’t always about love or chemistry. In 1967, 76% of women and 35% of men admitted they would marry someone they didn’t love if the person had all the other qualities they wanted (Yale University, 1967). Now imagine Grandma with an iPhone and a Ring light.
“That Thing That You Like” Was Always There
Here’s the hilarious part: the kinky, quirky, and oddly specific things we’re “so open” about now? They were still happening in the 1940s—they were just happening in secret.
You think Grandpa didn’t have a thing for feet? Or that Grandma didn’t fantasize about someone who actually asked what she wanted? We just didn’t have language for it. Or communities. Or Reddit forums with 300,000 subscribers titled r/ThatThingYouLikeButCan’tSayInFrontOfYourMom.
According to a 2021 YouGov study, over 49% of millennials and Gen Z participants said they were open to some form of BDSM, kink, or role play in relationships【source: YouGov America, 2021】. That’s not because younger generations are perverse—it’s because we’ve normalized communication.
Morality ≠ Monogamy
Here’s the mistake: we keep equating morality with monogamy, and monogamy with restraint. But being faithful out of fear or lack of options isn’t morality. That’s social pressure dressed up as virtue.
Marriage used to be a contract. Now it’s a choice.
And that’s why it feels like people are choosing differently—not because they care less, but because they care more about alignment, compatibility, and fulfillment.
What we call the “decline of marriage” is really the rise of authenticity. People are no longer getting married just because they’re “supposed to.” They’re waiting until they want to. The average age of first marriage in the U.S. rose from 23 for men and 20 for women in 1960 to 30 and 28, respectively, today【source: Pew Research Center, 2023】.
That’s not regression. That’s progress with better filters.
Grandma Would’ve Slid Into DMs
Let’s play it out.
You think Grandma wouldn’t have had a Finsta account? Grandpa wouldn’t have flirted in emoji-laced DMs? You think a perfectly filtered shot of someone holding a golden retriever and a pumpkin spice latte wouldn’t have done something to them?
Come on.
We’re the same species. The same cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin, and curiosity flows through our bloodstreams. The difference? They didn’t have Twitter threads normalizing polyamory or podcasts on how to finally ask for that thing you’ve been scared to admit you like.
Give a 1950s couple a smartphone and 5G, and suddenly the local church picnic becomes a swingers’ event with RSVPs via Google Calendar.
The Technology of Temptation
We have to admit that part of this conversation isn’t about morality—it’s about access. Technology has multiplied the exposure and accessibility of potential partners exponentially.
- Dating apps: Over 323 million people use dating apps worldwide【Statista, 2023】.
- Adult content: Platforms like OnlyFans, launched in 2016, boast over 190 million registered users as of 2024.
- Social validation: Instagram alone has turned flirtation into an art form. That fire emoji under your gym selfie? Equivalent to the 1950s wink across the diner—but with way less effort and no need to shave.
It’s not that temptation is new. It’s that resisting it is no longer tied to survival or social status. Morality hasn’t disappeared. It’s just decentralized.
Why the Panic Feels So Loud
People panic when control systems weaken.
For centuries, religion, marriage, and tradition dictated moral behavior. But now, morality is personal. It’s negotiated. And it’s fluid. That terrifies those who built power structures on controlling relationships, particularly women’s autonomy.
When women earn more, choose partners freely, and ask for that thing that they like, the patriarchy throws a moral tantrum.
We’re not in decline. We’re just not obedient anymore.
Is Anything Sacred?
Yes. Consent. Connection. Communication. These are the new pillars of modern intimacy. And they’re better than blind obedience ever was.
Ask yourself: Would you rather be in a relationship where someone stays because they have to—or because they want to, even with all the options in the world?
We’re living in an era where people choose love even when they don’t need it to survive. That’s not moral decay. That’s evolution.
Final Swipe
The truth is, most of us aren’t out here spiraling into degeneracy. We’re just finally free to ask for what we want, explore what excites us, and reject the idea that shame is a moral compass.
And honestly? If Grandma and Grandpa were born in 1996, they’d be sending each other spicy memes and planning a brunch date through the group chat. Don’t let nostalgia trick you into thinking restraint equals righteousness.
It doesn’t.
It just means they didn’t have Wi-Fi.
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